Hi, all.

It's been quite some time, and a lot has happened since my last post. A trip back home to see the family, some interesting job gossip (coming soon to a TV movie near you), a move from LA to Long Beach, and birthday #38, among other things. Let's try to power through it and get on track, shall we?

The Christmas / New Year's trip home was great. It was fantastic to see everyone (particularly my great aunt Allie) after far too long. Rachel came bearing hand-knitted scarves and baby hats, which were huge hits, everyone had a great time, and there was much rejoicing. Future trips back that way are already in the works, so I have time to be a proper New York and New England tour guide.

The job gossip will have to wait a few more months, but it will come. Lately, I've done a bit of freelance work, and I'm in the process of negotiating a couple of very interesting deals. That part of the gossip should be available in a matter of weeks, rather than months.

Long Beach is great. It has some drawbacks (parking being a very big one), but there's much more of a community vibe down here, and despite the evil breakwall, being one block from the ocean feels way more connected to everything that makes California California. More on that in a paragraph or so.

So here we go with that. Birthday 38 came and went much more eventfully and with a great deal more impact than I'd expected. Rachel went WAY above and beyond, giving me a wetsuit and camping trip to Catalina. Like our first trip to Catalina last year (thanks, Mom!), it was fantastic, with a mellow vibe that kicked off the second we stepped on the boat. The camping was great, the food at the local Chinese restaurant was great (they're always wonderful about cooking up vegetarian stuff that's not on the menu), and we saw Star Trek at what might just be the most beautiful theater in California. And then, of course, we capped the weekend with snorkeling in our new wetsuits.

This brings me to my most recent spiritual awakening. I love the ocean. I really, really love the ocean. I own my own wetsuit, mask, and flippers (thank you, Sarah and Rick). I live 50 feet from the Pacific. It's hard to come up with a reason to NOT be in the water, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It probably sounds hokey, but that wetsuit--along with the company of someone who feels the same way--made something click. We went boogie boarding (also a first for me) last weekend down at Seal Beach, and I was like a 10 year-old kid, eating a face full of sand and splashing back out to hop on the biggest wave I could find to ride it back in again, face-first. I can now start to appreciate what surfers are all about, and as soon as I take a couple of swimming lessons to up my survival odds, I WILL learn to surf. And some day, SCUBA and sailing. It's all coming together, and I can't believe the 2 free Jimmy Buffett tickets we got were an accident....

And yes, Andrew. When you come to visit, you're going out to the water with me. I will wipe out on my boogie board while you chat up the beach volleyball girls. Deal?

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I think Jed and Erica will get the biggest kick out of this, but there's something for everyone here.

So I'm in the elevator today, with a man in his 70s or 80s (wearing a fly red velour track suit). He's on his way up to the Israeli consulate on 17. I'm on my way to the salt mines on 10. Not much time for chatting. Still, he looks at my Planet Lunch t-shirt and chuckles.

"Galactus. Funny."

I told him I was impressed. He shoots back with "Jack and Stan and I were buddies back when they didn't have a pot to piss in. Jack was a good man."

And then we hit 10.

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So it's been a while, and a whole lot has gone on. I'll start with the most recent news and work my way back.

#1: Kettlebells: Grr, I say. I'ma be HYOOGE like Zangief, and here's why. Big Russian cannonballs on handles. And while the logic might seem reversed, what does juggling cannonballs get you? Why guns,of course. Just trust me. HYOOGE, I say! HYOOGE!

#2: Camping: The ninja and I are heading to Malibu Creek for the weekend. This has allowed me to buy the following man-items in the past few days:

• A Buck 110 Folding Hunter
• A Coleman propane stove
• Campsuds
• A lantern
• A new cooler
• Little non-ice cooling things
• Other random cooking-in-the-wild stuff
• Insect repellent

The end result? I am yet more of a nature-conquering badass. Not because I need man-items to conquer nature, mind you. Because I don't. I just dress up real nice-like.

#3: Sketch: I'm now a member of the Charlie company over at ACME. Show info to come. Or, for you copyeditors out there, "show info TK."

Speaking of TK, there's a lot more to say, but it's time for me to attempt to dicth out on work and meet up with the boys for Manly Drinking Night 2008. I'll actually probably have half a drink, but it will be among men and at night, so I'm not lying. Cheers.

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He was funny in the 60s, hilarious in the 70s, and kept on getting funnier and more relevant all the way through the end. We'll miss you, George.

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So I finished my first full night of 4th Edition D&D last night (prior nights had been "Let's check out the rules and play the test module" and "Let's all roll characters," respectively), and it's actually pretty fantastic. There have been some criticisms, certainly, but so far, almost all the changes in 4th Edition have been good.

Highlights:

* Class Balance: Spellcasters are no longer useless wusses at level 1. They're also no longer overpowered at later levels. The opposite is true of melee classes, so everyone can contribute at every level, and no one gets bored. Nice.

* Fast, Tactical Combat: Combat has been completely reworked, allowing (essentially requiring) everyone to take an active part. And with at-will actions doing greater damage than auto-attacking, even the melee types are making several active tactical choices each round. Add in some tactical specialist classes (Warlord and, to a much lesser extent, Clerics), and you really have much more dynamic, interesting fights. There really is a "tide of battle," and teamwork is far more rewarding.

Did I mention "fast?" Because I should have. Combat is at least 50% faster. We had 9 people at the table and got through 2 major combats plus a ton of backstory and out-of-game snacking in the time it would have taken us to get through one fight back in 3.5.

* Roles and Builds: Straight out of an MMO, to be sure, but it works. A party should have at least one character in each of 4 roles: Protectors (tanks), Strikers (dps), Leaders (healers/buffers), and Controllers (cc/aoe). Each class specializes in one of the roles, but you can build your talent tree to take you toward a more personally interesting place within your role. For example, my Cleric (Leader) is speccing Battle Cleric, so I get to beat on badguys (which creates buffs for party members and debuffs for enemies) while still performing healing on the side as needed, but without getting bored--and still getting the satisfaction of caving in some skulls. There's a lot more "play what you want to play, how you want to play it," and with some attention to detail, you can make it work.

The verdict:

Good times. Combat was about as fast as raid encounters in WoW, with all the added trash-talking, pretzel-eating, and fun of a tabletop RPG.

And Jarlan the Cleric pwns.

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WTF?

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So the birthday was this weekend, and while 37 isn't really a noteworthy milestone (beyond being in my late 30s, rather than mid), this was really one of the best yet. All sorts of things went right, and thank you to everyone who sent emails, cards, texts, or calls (particularly that Happy Birthday song voicemail). Thank you to Hair of the Mangy Dog for a present I'll never use (at least on myself). Thank you to Kate Danley for guilting my entire sketch class into singing this morning. But most of all, thanks to my ninjette, Rachel, for a fantastic birthday weekend and the most epic of presents ever--my own, custom-sculpted pirate action figure.

Word. That picture of me to the right is, in fact, a snapshot of my 12" pirate action figure Rachel commissioned from my favorite figure-making homies:

Sculptor: Jon Stevens
Mold/Cast: Jon Stevens
Paint: Scott Akers
Project Co-ordniator and general Dude-in-Charge: Jed Haigh

If you want one of your own, email jhaigh@valyrianresin.com.

It's fantastic. I'm a freaking pirate. And an action figure. And a pirate action figure. Jed, John, and Scott--you guys rock. Rachel--you rock worlds--mine and every other world with half a lick of sense or cool.

Did I mention that I'm a pirate action figure? Pictures here.

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No public transit system should have to employ human-packers. I mean, I like Pokemon and all, but eff that.

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It's been some time since I updated the blog. Let's have a brief recap, shall we?

My new niece is growing up.

My new girlfriend continues to stick around and lick my skull (see above-right). She kicks ass like a dual-Thunderfury ninja on energy drinks.

My unemployment is over. I now know many more central Asian parables than before, thanks to Dr. Boris Krakov, my Uzbeki spirit guide.

Sketch comedy continues, and I should be performing at the LA Comedy Fest if nothing explodes.

And a great big WTF to the writers of BSG. How dare you do what you did when you did that thing that you did? I'm trying to avoid spoiling it for anyone who hasn't seen it, but doods--you halved the female eye candy in about 4 minutes. How dare you? And without any Summer Glau or Jewel Staite for me to fall back on. Cruel.

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